


Easier Said Than Done

by Arrestzelle



Category: The Evil Within (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-26 01:33:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3832177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arrestzelle/pseuds/Arrestzelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joseph has loved Sebastian for a long while and managed to keep it hidden for the most part. Sebastian suddenly kissing him makes it so much harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easier Said Than Done

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so this is my first time writing Joseb, and I only hope that I managed to capture their personalities well enough.
> 
> P.S I love Joseb.

It wasn't often that Joseph gave in to destructive desires. He knew when to hold back, and when not to. He was the person Sebastian typically relied on to make the right choice, when he was unable to coherently make good decisions himself. 

For a long time Joseph managed to keep an arms-length from Sebastian. After so many surprising visits from a hammered Sebastian, Joseph had grown used to Sebastian's rather affectionate tendencies and flirtatious words. Joseph knew Sebastian acted like that with the thought of Myra. He thought of his wife and obviously that brought on the overwhelming affection. Why else would he constantly come onto him and start slurring about giving him big fat smooches?

Changing the topic or putting Sebastian to bed worked well enough for a time.

But Joseph was worn down. He was exhausted and dragged through the mud with the constant struggle. And pain. He set expectations that were too high and each time they crashed to the ground, it was hard to get back up without Sebastian noticing. Joseph wanted so much but it was utterly selfish of him because of it. He scolded himself each time he thought longingly about his widowed partner. 

Seated now at his office desk at his apartment, Joseph has his fingers rubbing at his furrowed brow, his mind a fluttering mess, his attention flicking back and forth between the forms he was staring at and his partner. Working typically distracted him from thinking too hard about the man out of his reach, something he began to do at home as well, ever since Myra's disappearance. But tonight he had trouble focusing.

He was worn down and it was getting harder and harder to hold back and be the responsible one. Sebastian was really testing him each time he was around him when he was intoxicated.

His cell suddenly coming to life with his ring tone scares him and he jumps a little in his seat. Sighing, he drops his hand and snatches it off the desk. Glancing at the lit up screen, he notices it was an unknown number.

With a swipe of his thumb across the screen he answers. Pressing it to his ear, he speaks in a professional, leveled tone.

“Hello, Detective Oda speaking.”

\----------

Joseph arrives at the bar dressed in a pair of slightly wrinkled slacks and a pristine button up shirt. Stepping into the bar, he takes a single inhale and winces at the thick, suffocating scent of cigarette smoke and sweat. Joseph felt out of place here, so he didn't waste time approaching a hunched over Sebastian at the bar. 

He rested low on his elbows, head ducked down and beige trench coat sagging on his shoulders. Sighing heavily, Joseph peeks at the displeased bartender who aggressively cleaned a glass before looking down at the half-empty whiskey glass Sebastian weakly clutched in his calloused hand.

“Sebastian,” Joseph spoke in a firm murmur, placing a gloved hand on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian weakly jerked, alarmed by the touch, and lifted his bloodshot, glassy eyes to his partner. He looked like shit, which wasn't uncommon, and it put a tight twist in Joseph's stomach.

“What are you doin' here?” Sebastian demanded with an intense slur, looking a mixture of confused and agitated. Joseph pats him on the shoulder, gazing into his hazy, honey colored eyes and says, “I came to take you home.”

Like expected, Sebastian does not look pleased with that response and scowls, eyes narrowing. He shakes Joseph's hand off with an exaggerated, sluggish movement and grumbles, “Gonna have to drag me out of here, if you think that's gonna happen.” He turns back to his glass of whiskey and spins it around weakly. Joseph exhales deeply and glances up to the clock on the wall. It was nearing one in the morning and Joseph's patience was thinning like the night. 

“So, you're telling me I should leave and you're just going to drive home like this?” Joseph retorts, crossing his arms loosely. Sebastian gives him a short glance past his shoulder, his locks of hair concealing some of his face. 

“I don't think so,” Joseph added, “You are in no condition to drive.”

“Says who?” Sebastian slurs back, glancing down to his drink again.

“Me. Your partner who is in a more coherent state of mind than you.”

“Definitely haven't heard that one before,” Sebastian mumbles, lifting the glass to throw the small remainder of whiskey back. Joseph watches with overwhelming displeasure, his brow knitting tightly. 

“Seb,” he begins in an exasperated tone, reaching out to touch him on the shoulder again, noticing how he tenses up just slightly, “What you need is a nice hot shower and then some sleep. I can drive you home. I imagine that bar stool hasn't been very comfortable.”

“What I need is for you to climb out of my ass,” Sebastian bites back, though the slur dampens the threat in his voice. Joseph gives him a pointed frown and Sebastian narrows his eyes at him. Joseph knew he tended to be more aggressive the first couple hours in his inebriation.

“I think the best course of action here, Sebastian,” he begins in a low, firm tone, looking him in his bloodshot eyes, “Is for you to go home and go to bed. Unless you are willing to walk into work like how you are now. Do you really want that?”

“This has _never_ effected my work,” Sebastian snarls at him, lifting a hand to jab a finger at him bitterly. Joseph looks him in the eye and says calmly, “Then let's keep it that way.”

That seems to deflate Sebastian a bit. He lowers his hand and drops his gaze to the fine wood of the bar, shoulders sagging. He pushes the empty glass around between his fingers and stares down at the ring around his finger. 

“I don't want to go back to my fuckin' place,” he mutters. Joseph's frown tightens and he thinks he understands the implication behind what he said. It tightens the knot in his stomach, making his next exhale come out shaky.

“You know I have a spare room at my apartment, Seb.”

Sebastian slowly turns his head to eye him past his shoulder. His hands are limp on the bar and his face doesn't look as tight as it did when Joseph first suggested the idea of leaving. 

\----------

The struggle to support half the weight of his wasted partner up the stairs leading to his place was one Joseph was used to, but it didn't make it any easier. Sebastian seemed less aggressive now that they were out of the stifling atmosphere of the bar. He was draping himself over Joseph and tilting his head to rest it against Joseph's, much to Joseph's irritation. 

“Can you at least use your feet?” Joseph demands bitterly, digging into his pocket to retrieve his apartment keys. Sebastian hums in a low, grumbling tone, right in Joseph's ear, and Joseph only readjusted his arm around Sebastian's midsection as he shakily unlocked the door.

As soon as they shuffled through the door and said door was locked securely behind them, Sebastian started leaning obnoxiously into Joseph, which was entirely intentional. “Sebastian!” Joseph snapped, legs tensing as he struggled to keep them upright, gloved hands grabbing tightly at Sebastian's trench coat. 

Laughing with a bubbly tone, Sebastian put effort into standing. Grumbling, Joseph began tugging him through the entrance of his flat towards the hallway.

They didn't make it to the hallway. Sebastian ended up stumbling and Joseph could only guide him to the couch. The coffee table was kicked noisily as Sebastian tripped back onto the cushions of the couch with a grunt. Sighing heavily, Joseph let him go and straightened up, tugging at the hem of his gloves and then smoothing out his shirt. He brushes back the stray locks of hair that fell from the rest and eyes Sebastian. The older, much more disgruntled detective was sprawled out over the small couch with his head tipped back over the back of it, neck exposed and dark locks strewn about. 

“I'll get you some water,” Joseph says and turns to approach the kitchenette without a word from the other. He steps past the small bar and opens the cabinet to grab a glass. Once filling it with water from the tap, he returns to Sebastian's sprawled out form. 

“Sebastian,” Joseph says firmly, holding out the water. Sebastian was unresponsive, so Joseph repeats his name again. This time he stirs and sluggishly lifts his head. He eyes Joseph up and down and fixes his dazed gaze on the glass. 

“Thanks, Joph,” he impressively slurs his name and reaches out to grab it. Once Joseph is sure he has a good grip, he lets go and watches patiently as Sebastian sits a little straighter and brings the rim of the glass to his mouth. His heavy eyelids are shut as he downs a few gulps. Joseph feels satisfaction, giving a tiny purse of a smile on his lips. He watches him carefully set the glass of water down on the coffee table before he gives Joseph a lopsided, weak smile, his teeth slightly exposed and eyes cracked open. 

“Would you prefer the couch or a futon?” Joseph asks, gazing at him with a heavily repressed fondness in his eyes. An inappropriate warmth burns in his chest, looking at Sebastian's silly smile. He was disgustingly drunk and sprawled over his couch in an unflattering way, but still Joseph couldn't help but look at him through the lenses of his hopeless love. He shakes his head at himself, earning a mildly confused look from his drunken partner.

“This's fine,” Sebastian replies sleepily, slumping further down til his knees bump against the coffee table. Joseph gives a little sigh, nods, and then leans past Sebastian to grab the folded quilt off the back of the couch. He shakes it out and with a gentle motion he drapes it over Sebastian. Sebastian gives him a lazy smile and blinks slowly. Joseph thought he definitely smiled more when hammered. 

“Thanks, Joph,” Sebastian mumbles, looking up at him with bleary, glassy eyes. Joseph swallows hard and gives a terse nod.

“I'm assuming if you need to use the restroom, you can handle that yourself?” He asks, dropping his gaze from Sebastian's deep honey eyes to his lap, his legs lazily sprawled open. That was not a good place to stare either so he looks to the side, an uncomfortable flush beginning to warm up his face.

“Yessir,” Sebastian slurs, lazily giving a salute, before dropping his hand down onto his jean-clad thigh with a smack. Joseph glances at him and notices the way Sebastian looks him up and down with a slow sweep of his eyes. Narrowing his eyes a little, Joseph ignores the sudden heat in his face and says, “If you need anything, just knock on my door.”

“M'kay,” Sebastian says softly, giving him a weak smile, eyes lidded. Joseph turn to leave, glaring. What was with him getting so flustered over a couple smiles and soft words? His heart raced and his belly felt all tingly. 

A sudden grab to his wrist stops him before he could even take the first step. He begins to glance back in question but he's roughly tugged before he could even get a word in. With a surprised exclamation he stumbles back, tripping over the damn coffee table, and ends up falling in Sebastian's lap atop the blanket.

“Sebastian! What the he--” He begins, fixing his alarmed gaze on Sebastian's, hands raising by reflex.

He's cut off when Sebastian leans in to press an unpleasantly wet smooch to the corner of his mouth, missing his mark. Joseph jerks on his lap, his legs sprawled out messily across the couch and Sebastian's thighs. He looks at Sebastian with disbelieving shock when the older man leans back with a smug look.

“I missed,” Sebastian slurs cheekily, lifting a hand to brush the rough pad of his thumb across Joseph's chin, the light reflecting off the band around his finger. Joseph swallows hard, momentarily speechless. He blinks hard and Sebastian chuckles and begins to lean in but Joseph is quick to lift his gloved hands and shove at his face. Sebastian lets out a surprised grunt as Joseph tries pushing off of his lap. He didn't realize Sebastian still had a strong hold around him.

“S-Sebastian! Let me go!” Joseph sputters, turning his head away to hide the deep flush of his face. Despite his inebriation, Sebastian was a bigger man than him and had some upper body strength. He laughs lowly and shakes his head.

“I don't want you to go just yet,” Sebastian admits with a smile, leaning in during Joseph's momentary surprise to press soft little pecks across his blushing face. Joseph sputters and his hands fly up in response, pressing into Sebastian's broad chest. He reeked of booze and sweat. Joseph's eyes squeeze shut at the long kiss to his forehead, heart tightening and gloved fingers curling into the fabric of his partner's vest.

“Seb... this is...” He begins in a shaky voice, eyes cracking open to look up at the other. Sebastian leans back to stare down into Joseph's widened eyes, his own still bloodshot and glassy. His lips were no longer in that dopey smile and he looks at Joseph as if he was actually seeing him, not what he _wanted_ to see. Joseph swallows hard, momentarily silenced, and he stares back, hands remaining pressed to Sebastian's chest.

The sudden hard kiss to his mouth has him sucking in a breath, his body tensing up. He makes a soft noise of protest, eyes remaining open to look at Sebastian's furrowed brow and closed eyes. Joseph tasted alcohol and cigarettes. His lips are pliable under Sebastian's, weakened by the longing he's had for this. Sebastian was never this forward, he kept it to teasing butt pinches or messy kisses to his head. Joseph assumed it was all just to see him get worked up. 

A weak noise comes from Joseph as Sebastian pries open his mouth with slow, open-mouthed kisses, giving him some tongue. Joseph shivers and his hands slide up Sebastian's chest to grab onto his messy locks, his face hot. His usual sharp, decision-making mind was fuzzy and muddled with the heated kiss and he couldn't fight the desire burning through him.

It made him feel immense guilt. He was an adult and he should act that way when Sebastian was drunk like this, he should be in control, but his selfish yearning for this man made him greedy. For only a moment, he kissed him back, panting between their mouths. Sebastian's warm, calloused hand was on the side of his neck, sliding up to hold the side of his face. Joseph melts from the touch.

But soon, shame won him over and he separates the kiss by leaning back while pushing at Sebastian's shoulder. Sucking in a deep breath, he opens his eyes and looks at Sebastian with a firm glare. 

“Sebastian, this is _highly_ \--”

“What?” Sebastian cuts him off, running his tongue over his own bottom lip before continuing in his rough voice, “Inappropriate? Unprofessional?”

Frowning, Joseph's brow furrows tightly. Sebastian speaks again, keeping stubborn eye contact with Joseph.

“We're both consenting, apparently, 'cause you seemed to return it eagerly,” he says, making Joseph blush darkly and glare at him, “And we're at your place, not at work, so how is this either of those things?”

“Because you're...” Joseph begins quietly, looking away. Something that felt like anxiety curled in his belly and he hesitates. Sebastian is silent, watching him, waiting for him to say what he wanted to say. His brow is knit, eyes narrowing. Joseph swallows hard and huffs.

“I shouldn't be doing this,” Joseph mutters to himself, moving to sit up. Sebastian grabs tight at him, refusing to let go. Joseph slumps back down in his lap and glares at him mildly. He was getting tired of this game and he just wanted to go to bed at this point.

“Because I'm what?” Sebastian demands, looking him in the eye. Joseph sighs heavily and drops his gaze to Sebastian's chest. Reaching out, he idly fixes the flipped up collar of his trench coat, which has yet to be removed properly, before speaking.

“Because you're drunk. You're not in a coherent state of mind,” Joseph says firmly, glancing up into his honey colored eyes, feeling a mixture of ache and warmth in his chest when he gazes in them. Sebastian looks displeased. Joseph exhales deeply and adds quietly, looking away, “You only seem to be like this when you're drunk and I don't want this to become acceptable behavior. Because it's not.”

“Why?” Sebastian demands in a growl, “Why are you so opposed to it?”

“Why are you so adamant about it?” Joseph shot back at him, fixing his stare on Sebastian's again. Sebastian visibly swallows and drifts his tongue across his bottom lip. His eyes narrow and he speaks in a low, rumbling tone. 

“Because the only person I've even considered to touch like this since Myra's disappearance was you. I trust you more than anyone, Joseph.”

Frozen in stunned silence, Joseph stares up at him, thinking that was an awfully sobering thing to say when he was drunk. Heart racing, Joseph isn't sure what to do. He blinks and his mind runs a mile a minute, trying to think of one good response to that.

“This was not how I expected this to turn out,” Joseph stammers rather stupidly, thoroughly flustered. Sebastian laughs and grins all lopsided. His eyes were filled with exhaustion and aged with pain, but still a brightness blooms in them, making Joseph's heart stop. 

“I blame the booze,” Sebastian says in a slur, drawing a hand up to brush back the stray lock of Joseph's hair that rested over his forehead. Joseph huffs.

“You're going to use that as an excuse tomorrow, aren't you?” Joseph demands, moving to get off of his lap. This time Sebastian relents and lets him go. Joseph takes a seat next to him on the couch, brushing back his loose locks and fixing his gloves. Sebastian sighs heavily as he slouches back against the couch again.

“I dunno. Maybe.”

Joseph rolls his eyes and moves to stand. He turns to face Sebastian, earning a tired glance from the older man.

“Despite this _pleasant_ exchange, I'd rather not go in to work tomorrow exhausted,” Joseph says, earning a wry smirk from Sebastian. 

“Take off your coat before going to sleep, unless you want it wrinkled in the morning,” he adds. Sebastian gives a lackluster nod and stares up at him. There was a long pause, their gazes remaining locked. Joseph fiddles with the hem of a glove before dropping his hands with a little sigh. Sebastian looked at him expectantly, blinking hard to push away the exhaustion for a moment longer.

Joseph gives Sebastian a tense smile and gazes at him with a slight tenderness, a delicate look that he rarely ever showed the other man. It wasn't often he peeled away a part of the mask that concealed his overwhelming love for him. He tried so hard to keep it sealed away. Just this once his weakness triumphed and he couldn't help but reach out to gently draw his gloved hand across the top of Sebastian's head, brushing back some of his locks with slender fingers.

“Get some rest, Seb. You look like you could use some sleep.”

“Will do,” Sebastian remarks, giving him a tired little smile. Joseph gives a nod and retracts his hand before turning to walk away, stepping around the coffee table as he goes.

 

Dressed in his sleepwear, a plain gray t-shirt and pyjama pants, he stands at the bathroom sink, gazing at his reflection. Water drips off his face and his hair was down, no longer brushed back. He grabs the hand towel and presses his face into it. Heart racing and stomach filled with butterflies, he remains standing there, hiding his face in the towel. He slowly lowers it a moment later and looks at his own flushed face in the mirror. He was such an idiot. How could he have let Sebastian get away with that?

Even if what he said stirred up Joseph's heart, he couldn't help but think it was all a lie. Why would Sebastian _ever_ feel something like that towards him? Despite the fact that what he said was somewhat vague, it still suggested enough to make Joseph question himself.

Obviously it must have been influenced by the alcohol. Joseph was just a replacement. Something to fill a small portion of the crippling loneliness.

Sighing, Joseph sets the towel down and steps out of the bathroom.

Once he's settled in bed on his side, hands resting up by his face, he can hear the loud rumbling of Sebastian's snores from the living room. A weak, slightly melancholic smile pulls at Joseph's mouth and this time he can't stifle the suffocating yearning he has, to feel Sebastian's warm arms around him, holding him as they fall asleep together.

He felt childish.

\----------

After a morning of prodding a stubborn Sebastian off of the couch and forcing him to shower, to rid of the stink of alcohol and sweat, they arrive at work equally agitated and craving caffeine. Sebastian beats him to the coffee machine and takes as much time as he can manage pouring the coffee and setting the pot back down just to work Joseph up. It worked.

When they've settled down at their desks to get right to the paper work, Joseph, naturally, can't get what Sebastian said off his mind. He gives quick, brief glances to his partner every few minutes, wondering if he even remembered last night. Sebastian still looked tired, but not exhausted. He rubs at his brow occasionally and runs a hand through his hair, motions Sebastian typically did when he was impatient with the paper work. 

Half an hour in and Sebastian removes his reading glasses, drops them down onto his desk, and begins turning side to side in his swivel chair, twirling his pen in his fingers.

“Done already, Detective?” Joseph asks blankly, keeping his gaze fixed down on his work. Sebastian gives a long, low hum and answers with a mild smirk in his voice, “You haven't addressed what happened last night. I assumed you would be having a long, responsible discussion with me about it by now.”

Joseph tenses up and Sebastian, the ass, laughs lowly. 

“Am I not allowed to let things be for at least a single hour?” Joseph bites back, throwing a tired scowl his way. Sebastian shrugs, grinning now. He was so pleased with himself.

“I dunno, I thought you'd be going on about how unethical it all was. How we should be 'adults'.”

Sighing, Joseph takes off his glasses just to rub at the bridge of his nose impatiently.

“Sebastian, do you really want to have this conversation at work? Right now?” He levels him with a firm stare and arches a brow, slipping his glasses back on. Sebastian smirks.

“I dunno. Do you?”

“No,” Joseph said bluntly, picking up his pen and looking back down at the paperwork, “Maybe you should focus on what should be taken care of foremost, instead.”

“So how far is that stick lodged up there? Must be uncomfortable,” Sebastian quips with an amused tone, prodding at Joseph with full intent to get him riled up. Joseph tightens his lips and remains silent. The witty sarcastic remarks sits on his tongue, but today he just wasn't in the mood for it.

In his peripheral vision he can see Sebastian raise his hands up, elbows propped on the arm rests of his chair.

“Alright, I'll get back to work,” he says, admitting defeat, before adding, “Sir.”

“Glad you finally acknowledge my authority,” Joseph mutters, earning a little snort of amusement from Sebastian. 

\----------

After work, they step out together into the crisp air, tightening their coats around themselves. Sebastian reaches into his coat pocket and Joseph expects him to retrieve his cigarette packet but as they pace towards their cars, Sebastian hesitates before removing his hand. That was a surprise and Joseph subtly arches a brow.

“Joseph,” Sebastian begins, slowing to a stop once they arrive at their cars, parked next to each other. Joseph turns to him as he retrieves his keys and asks, “Yes?”

“We haven't really had dinner together in a while.”

Pausing, Joseph furrows his brow and looks at him with mild confusion.

“Yes, we have. Two nights ago--”

“We went to Denny's, yeah, I know, but I mean coming over to visit.”

Lowering the hand that clutched his keys, Joseph blinks and says slowly, “Yes, we haven't had dinner like that in a while.” They both know why, but they don't speak of it. Joseph gives a little arch of his brow, looking at Sebastian's rugged features, and asks, “Did you want to make plans?”

Sebastian gives a tense, small perk of his lips and gives a nod. 

“Yeah. I think I do.”

“Alright. Mine or yours?”

Sebastian's tiny smile grew into a mild smirk and he says, “How about my place?” Joseph gives a short nod, an upturn of his lips, and agrees with, “Sounds good. Let me know when you would like me to come.” He begins to turn towards his car, but Sebastian speaks up again.

“Tomorrow?”

Pausing, Joseph glances at him and then gives a small smile.

“Sure.”

\----------

At Sebastian's apartment, he is surprised to find it moderately tidy. There were some dirty dishes on the coffee table and papers stacked on various surfaces with some books pining them down, but other than that, it was clean. Before, empty bottles and fast food wrappers littered most surfaces and the sink was full of dirty dishes, the kitchen counters filthy. 

It has been a while since he's visited.

He tries his best to quell a pleased smile but a portion of it slips out anyways. He ducks his head down to hide it as he toes off his shoes and removes his coat. 

“ _Bienvenido a mi casa_ ,” Sebastian jokes, gesturing widely with his arms. Joseph gives him a wry smile as he joins him on the carpet, stepping up to him.

“Much tidier the last time I've been here,” Joseph comments, tugging at the hem of his gloves, a sign of mild nervousness. Sebastian glances around, saying with a sarcastic tone, “Yeah. I finally invested in one of those things where you put trash in it.”

“Ah, I may know what you mean.”

“Do you?”

“It's typically rectangular..?”

“Typically, yeah. You wanna see?”

“Yes. Show me your trash bin, Sebastian.”

“Ooh yeah, that's what it's called! How silly of me to forget. Right this way.”

 

Despite Sebastian's complaints, asking Joseph to just sit down and let the host handle it, Joseph insisted on helping him prepare the meal. He would rather be of use than just waiting around.

Sebastian wasn't an expert at cooking, so he had planned to make them something simple like fettuccine Alfredo with shrimp. Joseph tried to hide his subtle smile but Sebastian caught it and grumbled that if he didn't want to help, he didn't have to. It didn't take long to prepare, after all.

An hour later they still sat at the dinner table, their plates long empty. Conversation was easy and it consisted mostly of talk about cases or gossip about Kidman or the Chief. Most of which came from Sebastian's side. Joseph mostly listened, hiding his soft smirks by taking drinks of water. 

Then came the aftermath. They wound up on the couch, putting Netflix on with a movie they watched together more than once before. Joseph was cleaning his glasses when Sebastian plopped down beside him with two fingers worth of whiskey clutched in his grasp. Slipping his glasses back on, Joseph stared long at the dark color of the alcohol as Sebastian lifted the glass and took a sip, watching the work of his throat and the tightening of his lips brought on by the burn.

Sebastian catches his stare and gives him a little wry smirk.

“My only glass. I swear.”

Joseph gives him a pointed look.

Sebastian adds sweetly, “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

When Joseph eyes him with a mock bitterness, Sebastian laughs before taking another sip.

 

Joseph found it enjoyable to stay throughout the movie. Conversation with Sebastian was natural, and soon they moved on from the topic of work to games they played as kids. While Sebastian was at the arcade playing Rampage and Galaga, Joseph was at home playing his violin (Joseph wasn't interested in video games as a kid). Sebastian was surprised to hear that, saying that Joseph never mentioned him playing the violin. Joseph shrugged, admitting he hadn't picked a violin up since high school. 

The mention of high school started up another entire conversation. Each topic melted into the next until Joseph yawned and noticed the time.

 

At the door, they say their goodnights but Sebastian reaching out to take a gentle hold of Joseph's wrist momentarily stops his leave. Looking back at Sebastian's stern face, Joseph expected something important. Instead he was surprised by Sebastian leaning in to press a kiss to his forehead.

“It was nice having you over,” Sebastian said, his eyes flicking to and from Joseph's face, no doubt induced by his embarrassment from doing something as cheesy as that. Joseph was stunned, looking at him with his face heating up, and then he huffs.

“Don't kiss me like that. It's so...” He trails off, at a loss for words.

Sebastian smiles wryly and suggests, “Lovey-dovey?”

Joseph makes a face.

“It makes me feel like a teenage girl, getting kissed there.”

“What's so bad about being a teenage girl?”

Joseph rolls his eyes despite his amused little smile. He readjusts his coat that lay folded over his arm as he speaks.

“Goodnight, Seb.”

“Aw, no departing kiss for me?” Sebastian asks with a teasing voice, lacking any real serious tone. Joseph wasn't sure if he was just poking at him or not.

Joseph looks down at Sebastian's calloused hand, his fingers loosely curled around his slender wrist. He raises his gaze to Sebastian.

“Is that what you want?” He asks quietly, looking into his deep honey eyes. Joseph glances at the stress lines on his forehead, the crow's feet by his eyes, the slight bags below them. He looked so much older than himself, even if their age difference was only a small gap of five years. Joseph remembers the time he didn't look so worn down. 

Sebastian's lip twitched up into a little smile.

“Yeah. If you're fine with that.”

Joseph hesitates, searching in his eyes, and wonders when Sebastian started looking back at him like that. Did he just never notice? He ignores the quick beating of his heart and tries replying with a controlled voice.

“I am. But I'm not sure where I should kiss.”

With a smirk, Sebastian lets go of his wrist to reach up and tap his finger against his bottom lip.

“There should be fine.”

Arching a brow, Joseph muses, “Is that so? Is that my only option?”

“I would rather not be a teenage girl, too.”

“That's fine. I would rather you be an old man.”

“Hey, _five years_ , Joseph.”

Laughing quietly, Joseph steps closer and reaches out to set his gloved hand on Sebastian's strong shoulder. Sebastian is grinning a little, his typically stern eyes softening just a bit. Joseph smiles softly, cheeks hot, and leans in, angling his head to press his mouth to Sebastian's. Sebastian's lips tasted faintly like the bitterness of alcohol, but it didn't bother Joseph too much. Sebastian cupped Joseph's cheek with one of his warm hands, sending butterflies down into Joseph's stomach. Joseph's heart raced and his skin lit up with fire. 

As they gave each other a few soft purses of their lips, Joseph realized he felt like a teenage girl in love. It was embarrassing.

**Author's Note:**

> esidisi-kars.tumblr.com


End file.
